Think

“Hmmm. I haven’t thought of that before.” 

“Oh. That never occurred to me.”

These are the frequent rebuttals I have when asked to discuss topics above a kindergarteners comprehension. My brain was once on top of spaghetti but it’s quickly becoming mush.

I realize, like everything in life, that you have to continually work. Carve and sculpt. Plow and sow. Run and breathe. Think and learn. Sometimes. It takes everything I have just to get through the day with a fresh layer of deodorant on. And that’s using my brain.

And I’ll be completely honest. Most days when I have and actually take the time to flex my comprehensive muscles I get distracted (hmmmmm. chocolate...) or doze off. Or give up. 

It’s not that I don’t want to be a genius. I mean, clearly, I have over achiever written all over me. It’s just overwhelming. I feel like I’ve pretty much forgotten everything I tried to learn, apply and memorize. All that studying, conceptualizing and whining, “When are people going to actually use this is real life?!” (ie Calculus) has evaporated, leaving a foggy but somewhat content and oblivious memory. 

So, why don’t I just let my boat dock for the time being? Or even better, sink into oblivion? I could coast along. Pick up information here and there. Get by. 

Because, it’s that darn little voice in my head that won’t leave me alone. And, no, I’m not crazy. Because you have one too. Don’t try to deny it. That little guy whispers, pushes, leads at times. 

And I feel a nudge when I respond, “Interesting. I’ve never thought of that before.” Or a little ding when I say, “Hum. That totally makes sense. Why didn’t I think of that?”

It’s my brain. Waking up from a Nick Jr. induced coma saying, “I’m here. Use me! I have answers. Somewhere.”

And for a split second I think, “Oh! I’ve missed you!” right as I fill up a sippy cup of vitamin D milk and head off to break up an argument about who gets to sit where at the dinner table.