Pour Me A Glass Of Whine

Blech. That's how I feel. It has been a miserable two weeks at our home, and I'm feeling whiny.

Both kids got croup which is another form of insomnia, at least for a mom. We were informed by our pediatrician to stay away from all people because croup can be the early signs of RSV which meant that we couldn't go see all the new little babies being born. Two of my friends and my sister-in-law all had babies during this period, of course. Cam was working overtime. And by overtime I mean he wasn't getting home until midnight. This means he was useless (and just a teensy bit grumpy). To add to that we were quarantined to our house meaning on top of all our sicknesses we had major cabin fever. To top it all off, being around coughing kids gave me a lovely sinus infection. Normally I can handle feeling sick pretty well, but being pregnant, sick and exhausted equals a miserable (and a somewhat impatient) mommy. Boo.

So, now that my kids are healthy again, (knock on wood) we are adjusting back to a normal routine. Except for Ady and bedtime. Because of the paranoia I have for croup I made the mistake of letting Ady sleep with us. A big mistake. She now has rebelled from bedtime and sleeping in general. For instance, Ady was awake at 2:30 the other night fussing about something and I was taking the extinction method. I wasn't talking to her at all. I would just get up and put her back into her room. Sounds simple, but every time I had to drag myself out of bed my patience would be depleted a little. After 2 1/2 hours of this scenario, I caved. It wasn't a pretty mommy moment. I put her in the guest room downstairs and locked the door. Ady was terrified, but after 5 minutes in there she promised to go up to her room and right to sleep. And she did, but it was 5 in the morning and Cam and I were wide awake, adrenaline pumping through our veins.

As Cam and I sat in bed, trying to fall back asleep, we were talking about what methods we should take to get this behavior under control. It had been two weeks since either of us had had a full uninterrupted night of sleep. We desperately needed to find the magic combination. We were also talking about how much resentment and frustration we had with Ady. I just couldn't understand why she wouldn't just go to bed. It didn't compute in my brain. "It's 2 in the morning. Go to sleep!" was all I could think. I was starting to take this night waking problem as a personal attack, as though Ady was purposefully trying to make my life miserable.

Obviously, after some sleep (a good 2 hours later) and some separation (Cam took the kids to Coo-Coo and Grandpa's house to let me rest a little longer) I received some clarity. Or just a defogging of the brain. It wasn't an epiphany or any new enlightened understanding, but a simple reminder: Oh yeah, this is a test.

I knew when I signed up to be a mom that there would be hard times, disagreements, sacrifices, loss of privacy, unrelenting demands, non-stop discussions about inexplicable topics and most of all insomnia. And although I'm exhausted thinking about it all, there is nothing better than being greeted in the morning by a pair of big blue eyes asking, "Did I sleeped all day night mommy?" All the frustration quickly melts away when I see the silly, quirky and loving things my kids do for me and for each other. With all those sleepless nights and patience-testing arguments at the end of the day there is no one I would rather be with than my family, even if it is at 2 in the morning.